Argument

I wrote this a few weeks ago (okay, a month ago) and just now finished it.

I recently got to go to the library by myself. Well, my 12-year-old niece accompanied me. It was great - I could look up things on the computer and peruse book shelves without having to keep up with small children who have started a game of tag and knocked over the flagpole. I ended up checking out two books by Erma Bombeck and a few biographies. I have read a few things by Mrs. Bombeck before, and I think she is the only writer whose articles I can laugh at all the way through, and then almost cry at the end. I have my fingers crossed that a lot of what she writes about children, especially teenagers, is exaggeration. I thought of her today as I had these conversations with my son today. He's a week away from being age 4.

Me: Ethan, go ______. (try and potty, put that down, wash your hands, etc.)

Ethan: I don't want to.

Me: Ethan, don't argue with me. (Repeat previous command)

Ethan: I'm not arguing!

Me: Yes, you are!

Ethan: No, I'm not!

Me: Yes, YOU ARE.

Ethan: No, I'm not!

Me: Do you want a spanking? (Repeat command once more)

Ethan: But Mommy, I DON'T WANT TO or BUT I WASN'T ARGUING!!! (with little clenched fists and veins standing out on his neck)

Me: Alright, come lie on Mommy's lap.

Ethan: NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

Now, I don't remember much of what went on when I was that age, but I have a feeling that Ethan is a little like his mother was. I hope my head wasn't diamond-hard like his is, but only my mother would know that. I know Mom had Dobson's The Strong-Willed Child , though later she told me I wasn't so much strong-willed as focused and persistent. She said I was not easily distracted, even as a baby. What I do remember is that my parents used big words like, "Don't dispute my word" or "Quit aggravating your sister." I had an idea of what that meant, but the words were big enough to be quite mysterious to a 4-year-old girl. Now that I have kids, I try to use words I know they'll understand, like argue, messing with, and leave that alone. However, I'm starting to rethink this. Maybe if I use big words they don't understand, they will be baffled enough to actually quit the arguing for once. This is probably wishful thinking on my part, but worth a try. Thanks, Mom.
Right now I have this vision in my head of my mother reading this, rolling on the floor with laughter, pointing a finger at the computer and saying, "HA! I knew this day would come! See what you put me through?!? What goes around, comes around. ha ha ha!" My mom really wouldn't do that, though. Uh, would you, Mom?

Update: My father-in-law made me feel better last weekend. We were discussing Ethan's stubborness, and I said I thought I was a little that way when I was his age. My FIL then said he had always thought it came from my mother-in-law's side of the family! ;-)